Corrupt-A-Wish (all credit goes to smexhy)

[demalition90]

Parents die and you inherit their old broken car

I wish fire didn't burn

[zuko135]

Granted, marsh mello business, and all the other businesses that include smelting things with fire, go out of buisness.
I wish that I can buy the extension pack in WoW

[Icefang113]

Wish granted, but your PC can't handle the extension pack.

I wish algebra was not a required course in college.

[zuko135]

Granted, but in your future you fail at getting a job 'cause you don't know algebra
i wish for a cookie

[Icefang113]

Granted, but the cookie is burnt since I don't know math.

I wish that pokemon were real.

[zuko135]

Granted! But you stepped on pikachu's tail and he thunderbolts you and kills you.

I wish for... a waffle

[TimmyTopHat]

Granted! But the waffle was made from laxatives.

I wish I had a bigger home.

[pyrusbrawler30]

granted, but it crumbles under too much weight.

wish that i could drink pina coloada-flavored smoothies all day.

[TheHannahSaur]

Granted, but they give you constant explosive diarrhea.

I wish to be back in NYC.

[TimmyTopHat]

Granted! But upon arrival, you find that your boyfriend moved to Washington.

I wish I had faster internet speed.